I have become one with my computer!

It is true, my computer and I have been having numerous intimate moments to start the week.  There has been oral sex:  I have told this monster to go fuck itself several times.  Allow me to elaborate.

Several months ago I dumped Internet Explorer 8 in favor of Mozilla's Firefox.  IE8 has always seemed a little quirky to me and I had heard good things about Firefox.  The fox did seem to be an improvement over IE8, but it didn't always approve of the web sites I visited.  And no, "let's hump and bump.com" wasn't one of them.  I was surprised though to discover that Peaches and Herb once recorded a tune entitled Hump and Bump (down where it's at).  Anyway, if the fox didn't approve of a site then it would lock itself up for an indefinite period of time.  So, I dumped the fox and went back to IE8 thinking that maybe Microsoft had fixed a few bugs.  Silly me!

After running for a few hours IE8 began to slo-o-o-o-w down...to a crawl.  I should point out here that patience isn't one of my many virtues.  Out of desperation I decided to try a new browser.  This time I downloaded Google's Chrome.  The download went smoothly and after working with Chrome for awhile I decided to unload IE8.  It could have been something I did, but when IE8 left it took something with it that Chrome seemed to need.  Oh, fuck!

After trying a system restore and resorting to more vulgar language, all to no avail, I decided to try heavy drinking.  Alone or in combination sex, drugs, and alcohol have always worked for me in the past.  Not this time, so I went to bed and enjoyed a semi-sleepless night...until 3:10 this morning.  Then I woke up with a flash.  Actually I had to pee, but it was during this activity that I remembered that IE8 rode on IE7 in some manner too gross, obscene, or otherwise disgusting to contemplate, I am sure.  Anyway, in just two shakes I was back in bed.  Fuck it, I'll putz with the damned thing at a decent hour.

At a decent hour I downloaded IE7.  Chrome now had what it was needing and is perking along just fine.  My computer and I are no longer pissy with each other and life, once again, is good.  Chrome appears to be a speedy little sucker, probably because it doesn't have all of the bells and whistles as Firefox, and most especially IE8.  Sometimes more isn't better...unless we are talking about sex, drugs, beer, and rock n roll.  Or pasta.  Oysters on the half shell.  A thick, juicy, medium rare steak.  I could go on.