It is getting close to time for a trip to the home of my ancestors, Mexico. Actually, my family came from Germany, but they had heard of Mexico and that should count for something.
¿Es verdad?
So, my bride and I have been boning up on our Spanish so that we do not repeat mistakes of the past. Like the time she announced to the waiter at a beach bar a bit north of Playa, that she was in heat: "Tengo mucho caliente..." The waiter looked her up and down, smiled and said, "You mean calor. Caliente means you are spicy hot, not warm from the sun. Shall I bring you a coke?" I think that what upset her the most was not the inadvertent propositioning of the waiter, but that the prick turned her down. I, on the other hand, prefer propositioning young sales clerks in San Miguel, Cozumel.
My long suffering spouse and I had ventured away from the touristy areas of San Miguel and on a back street my wife saw the cutest blouse that she had to have, only it was in a teeny size. Dainty though she is, the love of my life requires a larger size and inquired of the clerk if such a thing existed. Of the two ladies, one spoke no English and the other spoke no Spanish. Here is where I came to the rescue, and I should mention that this was after only two cervezas. In my best Spanish I asked, "¿Tengo usted un grande?" which I realized almost immediately wasn't the, "Do you have a large," as I had hoped. As the sales girl backed away with eyes wide open, presumably to a phone to call the police, I mentioned to my spouse that, "I think I just told the girl that I have a big one for her," and maybe we should leave -- quickly.
We still have several weeks to practice hablo-ing and this time we will be ready.
Hasta la vista, baby.
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