I mentioned here not too long ago that I received a "Loyal Customer Award" from Verizon FIOS. As a great big "Thank You" Verizon jacked up my rates. I can only hope that I am not rewarded by any other companies or utilities that I do business with. I can't afford too much more gratitude.
Well, silly me! Verizon wasn't rewarding me with just higher rates, now they were tossing in their version of excellent customer service. In the midst of watching a re-run of The Daily Show my TV screen went on break., and not just one of those union authorized 15 minute hummers. No, this was the mother of all breaks. I checked the TV in another room...same thing. I picked up the phone to call Verizon to report my viewing problem. Hmmm, no dial tone. I went to my trusty computer, and "Hot damn!" no Internet. Well, penguin poop...now what?
Thankfully my cell phone isn't dependent upon Verizon FIOS, so I called in a trouble report...well, after sitting on hold and listening to 20 minutes of Verizon recordings tell me how wonderful it is to have me as a customer, that is. The agent and I spent another 20 or so minutes fiddle-farting (technical telephone terminology) around with the Verizon equipment in the house and finally he came up with the diagnosis of MFB. Anyone who has ever worked for a phone company knows that MFB means the mother f - er's broke. As a preferred customer, I could expect a person to come out to the house and fix the mother f - er some time between now and when hell freezes over.
It turns out that hell wasn't supposed to freeze over until the next day between maybe eight and noon. That window of opportunity passed and a new window opened for sometime between one and five, and then moved to a five and eight hell freeze. After thirty years working for the phone company it became real apparent that Verizon was using the old GTE commitment schedule: Git To-it Eventually. At a quarter to eight in the evening of the second day Verizon announced that hell would not freeze until a later date. Thank god for heavy drinking! I managed to survive another night without TV and the Internet.
Finally, on the third day, a Verizon FIOS tech called to announce his impending arrival, and after 15 minutes replacing a box on the outside of the house, that I absolutely had to be home to witness, all services were restored. The FIOS tech was great...courteous and competent. It turns out that he and I had walked the same GTE hallways a number of years ago.
Verizon FIOS Customer Service, on the other hand, sucks large!
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