BOHICA: And, remember to say "Thanks"

Fellow citizens of Florida, get ready to spread your cheeks because Rick Scott (R - prick with ears) has got something exciting planned for you. In his latest "sunny view" for Florida, Scott announced plans to cut funding for the state's prisons, a dandy idea that should add to Florida's rosy unemployment picture. In addition to slashing billions in state spending by eradicating government jobs and agencies he plans on ramping up employee contributions to pension funds for any remaining state workers.

Then, to add insult to injury, Scott had the gall to say, and I paraphrase, that these affected workers should be "excited" to be getting a royal screwing, "It's going to be exciting. They are going to get to do something." I assume by that he means applying for unemployment...at least until he can eliminate that "lazy man's" benefit.

This "Let's Get To Work" jerk isn't through yet. Cash strapped property owners worried about Scott's plan to remove caps on increases in Citizens Property Insurance premiums also need to bend over and spread their cheeks because Scott has a big one for them, too...but (or is that butt) Scott enthused, "They [too] should be excited that we are going to [give them one in the shorts]."

Let me see if I have a grasp of the Scott plan.

1. Cut taxes by eliminating government jobs in a state with record high unemployment, even though Florida already has the smallest and least expensive state government per capita in this country.
2. Reduce state worker pay and then jack up their contribution to their pension funds.
3. Pave the way for higher property insurance premiums in a state already burdened by high insurance.

If Scott had an ounce of integrity he would say, "I don't know shit from Shinola about Florida, but whatever it is that Texas and Arizona are doing sounds okey-dokey to me. Besides, I ran a business into the ground up north and with the help of those crooks in Tallahassee I can do it down here too. So Florida, drop your drawers, bend over, spread your cheeks and let me excite you. And, you are welcome."