Oh, be still my beating heart! While I thought that life in the Tampa Bay area couldn't get any better and we couldn't be prouder, I was sorely mistook.
I rejoice that we have convinced the political party of "I've Got Mine, So Screw You" to hold their 2012 Back to the Stone Age convention in our fair city. This, of course, is in addition to having a big-assed Confederate flag waving at the city portals to announce to the world how progressive we are in our thinking.
These two jewels in our Chamber of Commerce crown pale in comparison to our latest achievement. I am so a-quiver with excitement that I can barely type, but here it goes:
The Right Reverend Hate Meister of the Church of the Evangelically Delusional in Gainesville, Florida, site of the now defunct Koran fueled marshmallow roast, has determined that he and his flock need to find a new home. One of the Disciples of Dopey stated that Gainesville has been less than receptive to their brand of Christianity since the area is way too liberal for God fearing patriotic Americans such as themselves. Not to mention all of that intellectual thinking stuff going on that clouds the minds of the irrational blatherers of God.
So, the neo-Reverend Jim Jones of Central Florida plans to move flock, stock and Kool-Aid to an area more conducive to the spread of hate, intolerance, and utter stupidity. And, the planned location for this new home of religious hypocrisy? Well, it is Tampa Bay!
Hot damn, we've made it to the big time! I am so proud I could just shit. Praise Jesus and hand me a Vicodin and a bottle of bourbon.
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