As home owners we are always on the lookout for ways to save a buck. If you are similarly inclined, allow me to recommend The Redneck Home Security System.
It is so simple. Just follow these directions:
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Booger,
Me, Bertha, Duke, 'n Slim, went for s'more ammo 'n beer.
Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got
the mailman this morning and messed'm up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Best wait outside.
Be right back,
Cooter
And, you are welcome.
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