The Rupture Is Coming, The Rupture Is Coming

Rupture, rapture...220, 221, whatever works! I guess it depends on which side of the current doomsday scenario you find yourself.

As most true believers already are aware, the world will come to an end this May 21, 2011 or maybe December 12, 2012. There seems to be a little confusion over when we should give away all of our worldly possessions, bend over, stick our head between our legs, and kiss our ass goodbye.

Initially, the world was supposed to end in May of 2003, but the Supreme Being-in-charge-of-Catastrophes got a hell of a good rate on an all-inclusive on the Mayan Riviera back then and totally muffed Doomsday that year. That, of course, caused a great deal of hardship on those Rapturees who gave away all their stuff. Those cases, I understand, are still being litigated.

Personally, I think 2012 stands a better chance of hosting a world annihilating disaster. If the Teabaggers, through their lips-on-the-butt Republicans, take control of this country then we are all doomed. Give away all our stuff? There won't be any stuff to give away, and we will not be transported to some mythical Xanadu in the heavens.

Let me sweeten the pot on this end-of-life-as-we-know-it possibility. Since He Who Breeds Lemmings On His Head (thanks to Andy Borowitz for that image) has dropped out of the Republican race, would anyone venture a guess as to which psychopathic CEO, be his name Scott, tosses his Teabagger lip balm into the ring?

Rick Scott, R-a prick with ears, the filthy rich pickle-headed crook that bought Florida is not going to need all four years in office to totally destroy the state. As a consequence, and due to his non-stop courtship of the right wing loonies, Scott appears poised to take Trump's place. Hair today, none tomorrow, or so they say.

My thought is that winning the Republican nomination, and holy crap, the presidency would be Scott's way of giving President Obama the mother of all fuck you's. Then there is the added bonus of doing to the country what he is doing to Florida.

Voilà, the rupture!