At Least DADT Is Gone

The U.S. Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan

That is just totally FUBAR! I was never in the Marines, but one of my fondest memories from Army life (and even later in the Air Force) was marching in formation and farting in cadence. Some of the farting contests in the old open bay barracks, rivaling a symphony orchestra performance, could bring tears to the eyes. On bivouac, why do you think sleeping bags were referred to as fart sacks?

Back around the time of Desert Storm the military banned alcoholic beverages in a war zone because booze offended the sensibilities of those we were protecting. If that weren't bad enough, now audible farting is also prohibited.

This in a culture that has allowed stoning, various forms of execution, and amputations as penalties for criminal offenses. You would think they would be impressed by a well executed, by the book, Marine Corps fart.

Silent but deadly is still permitted, though. I mean, give me a break!

 Obviously the brass in the Pentagon are not familiar with one of the more popular Afghan entertainers:

What better way to win the hearts and minds of the Afghan people than by allowing our brave Marines to accompany this musician by providing supporting harmonies and subtle nuances such as slight lengthenings of particular notes, decrescendi across falling figures, "shaping" notes or phrases using dynamics, and other things that aren't typically notated but are part of musical playing.

This would be a thing of beauty. I can hardly wait for the CD or MP3.

Editor's note: I could not find the album on Amazon.com.