Evil Exposed

On my way from the SOG City Oracle office to the kitchen for another cup of coffee this morning, I was shocked, shocked I tell you - horrified even -  to discover on the kitchen counter irrefutable evidence that my loving bride has provided monetary aid to a radical organization that "supports abortion and promotes homosexuality".

The horror!

I would not have even suspected such a sin if it were not for the tireless efforts of an Indiana Republican, House Representative Bob Morris. Thank god the country has people like him to expose the evil that runs rampant in this God-fearing country of ours.

Rep. Morris of Ft. Wayne said he will not support a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because he believes it is a "radicalized organization" that supports abortion and promotes homosexuality.

In a letter sent to fellow House Republicans, Morris said he did some research on the Internet and found allegations that the Girl Scouts are a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood, allow transgender females to join and encourage sex. Of course, everyone with half a brain, like Morris, knows for a fact that if you see it on the Internet, then it's like it came from the mouth of God His-self.

"After talking to some well-informed constituents, I did a small amount of web-based research, and what I found is disturbing," Morris wrote in his letter, which also accused the group of promoting homosexual lifestyles.

You know what the Oracle finds disturbing? The mere fact that ball-busting idiots like Morris ever got elected to public office in the first place as opposed to being locked up in a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane. The bile that spews from the mouths of Republicans all across this country is down right criminal. It's one thing to attack women's rights, but to go after little girls?

The one thing we here in Florida can be thankful for is this time it wasn't one of our Republican goobers who revealed to the world that we elected stupid to public office. We did, of course, but we get a pass on this one.

Is it just me or does Morris remind you of anyone in the movie Full Metal Jacket?