The Timely Demise Of BCGs

Are you ready for the Oracle's Friday prediction? Well, ready or not, here it comes:

The birth control issue that will now get the GOP (Goobers On Parade) to sporting a big collective woodie is the military's decision to do away with the oh-so-effective BCGs - birth control glasses.

From the Navy Times, "Military recruits who wear glasses no longer will have to endure the embarrassment of sporting BCGs — those beloved standard-issue specs, technically called S9s, which are universally known as “Birth Control Glasses” because they’re supposedly so unattractive."

"Supposedly so unattractive," my ass!

From first hand experience I know that those glasses are unattractive...but, effective. I had to wear them during Army basic training, and I can attest to the fact I never got close to impregnating anyone during those eight weeks.

Sand Hill, Ft. Benning 1969

I discount the fact that since there were no less-than-coyote-ugly women of child-bearing age anywhere near Company D, 4th Battalion, 1st Training Brigade that this in any way was a factor in my forced celibacy.

It was simply those birth control glasses. Golly gosh, but were they ever effective! I wore them once while on leave and not once did I come close to getting laid - until I took the damn things off.

Off - laid. On - celibate. That was just a fact of life.

For the life of me I don't understand why we haven't already heard from The Holy Man of the Froth, Santorum, or Rep. Darrel Issa, R-California Douche Bag, and his all-male panel of sanctimonious jerk-offs.

They and their Christian conservative supporters should be jumping for joy and dancing in the streets. The military is doing their job for them by getting rid of this most effective method of birth control that was being paid for with our tax dollars. The holy men of the Catholic Church also have to be orgasmic knowing that this birth control device will no longer be seen on the faces of some of their flock at Mass.

The FNGs

Truth be told, after taking a gander at the new issue military glasses, I'm not sure they are much of an improvement. But, that's just me. Maybe the Buddy Holly look is coming back in vogue.

They are still an improvement over the gray frames that the military used for a time, or these red hued beauties...




The Oracle shall conclude today's rant with this:

Birth control - we don't need no damn birth control. This country doesn't have near enough poor, starving, jobless, homeless people wandering around wondering why the hell the Republicans are in a lather over birth control and attacking women's rights when there are so many more pressing issues that need to be addressed.