Quote of the Day

Friday, April 27, 2012

Momenem's Gun Shootin' Skool

The Oracle has seen an increase in the number of ads in our local newspapers for people offering Concealed Weapons Permit courses. One we saw this morning suggested that for $75 and a mere three hours of your time they could teach you everything you need to know about firearms so that you could provide a certificate of completion to the Florida Department of Agriculture, Gun Toting Division.

We also found a message board thread that read: "Around here; average cost is $40.00. The "shortest" class I've seen (the wife took it) was 90 minutes."

Unfortunately, we could not discern where "around here" was located. Not to fret, though. Through due diligent research, the Oracle came across another training program that appears to be cost and time effective, and run by highly respected firearms professionals.

Momenem's Gun Shootin' Skool

Git yer CWP larnin' hyar CHEEP! Fry mah hide! $1 per minute. Th' faster yo' kin lock an' load, th' faster yo' will graduate. 

Momenem dun seed other courses offered fo' $75 an' take up 3 hours of valuable time thet c'd be spent trackin' down suspicious punks an' other varmits.

We doesn't waste no time larnin' yo' no law stuff. Them thar Flo'ida laws is jest plum stoopid ennyways.

Jest as soon as yo' pop a cap o' two, yo' kin be on yer way t'gittin' yer corncealed weapons permit wif yer noo compleshun certificut in yer han'.

Jess give us a call at Momenem's Gun Shootin' Skool so's we doesn't shootcha accidental like when yo' step on our skool groun's.

We provide th' targit - yo' provide yer own beer an' bullets. 

25% discount fer brin'in' inough extry beer fer Maw, Paw, an' th' young'ns.

Seed in this hyar pitcher is one of our former stoodents. We'uns say, "Eff'n this hyar patriotic Amurrican can do it, you can do it."

Eff'n yo' kin't read an' write fine, o' at all, we haf staff available t'he'p yo' fill out th' CWP fo'm, dawgone it. At Momenem's, we'uns does it all!

The preceding advertisement was presented as a public service by The SOG City Oracle because we feel it is imperative that Florida has more gun-slinging lunatics wandering about our streets and byways to protect us from the miscreants who would attack the God fearing American patriots amongst us. 

As a final note, you don't even need one of those annoying CWP thingies if you are accompanied by a hunting dog or if you are carrying a tent or fishing pole. In Florida, land of the certifiably insane, you can open carry if you are engaged in a hunting, camping, or fishing activity, and that includes going to or from said activity.

Isn't that just peachy?

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